Shoes That Rule and Shoes That Suck (What to Buy Instead)

When it comes to shoes, they’re more than just accessories—they’re about comfort, style, and not tripping over your dignity. Unfortunately, not all brands are created equal. Some are the pinnacle of craftsmanship and cool, while others are walking disasters (pun intended).

Top Brands

• Nike - Let’s start with the classic. Whether it’s for running, walking, or just flexing your sneaker game, Nike knows how to mix function and style. The Air Max series? Iconic. The Dunks? Streetwear legends. They even cater to specific needs with their wide range of athletic options. Bonus points for the innovation in their sustainable designs like the Nike Space Hippie line.
• Dr. Martens - If you want boots that make you look like you could stomp out injustice and survive a punk rock mosh pit, Dr. Martens are your go-to. Their durability and iconic design make them a wardrobe staple. They’re edgy, versatile, and built to last. Sure, there’s a break-in period, but good things are worth the pain—just like those 10-eyelet beauties.
• Vans - Skate culture or not, Vans are an undeniable classic. From the Old Skool to the Slip-On, these shoes have a timeless appeal. They’re comfortable, cool, and go with almost anything. Bonus? Their affordable price point doesn’t sacrifice quality.
• Birkenstock - Remember when Birks were considered “ugly shoes”? Those days are long gone. These comfy, orthopedic masterpieces are not just practical; they’re now ridiculously trendy. Plus, your feet will thank you after a day in those cushy cork footbeds.
• Adidas - Another juggernaut in the sneaker world, Adidas has made waves with its Ultraboost and Yeezy collaborations. They’ve mastered the art of combining technology with trendiness. Whether you’re running a marathon or just running errands, Adidas has your back (or feet).
• New Balance - What used to be the dad shoe brand has completely rebranded itself into something cool. Models like the 990 and 550 are as stylish as they are comfortable. Who knew your dad’s favorite lawn-mowing shoes would become streetwear gold?

Shoes To Avoid

Now that we've touched on some of the good brands, let's break down the ones to avoid:

Crocs

Yes, we know Crocs have a cult following, but let’s be real: these foam clogs are not the flex you think they are. Sure, they’re practical for gardening or slipping on to take out the trash, but wearing them in public as a fashion statement? Stop it. No amount of celebrity collabs or rainbow-colored jibbitz can convince us they’re anything but regrettable.

Buy Instead: Opt for a pair of Birkenstock Arizonas if you’re craving comfort and style. They’re just as practical but way more polished.

Skechers

Skechers has been stuck in a time warp, churning out clunky, uninspired designs that scream, “I’ve given up.” While they occasionally attempt something trendy, it always feels like they’re five years late to the party. And don’t get us started on those memory foam soles—they’re basically a short-term fix for poorly made shoes.

Buy Instead: If you’re after cushioned comfort, look at Hoka One One. They’re trendy, supportive, and won’t make you feel like a middle school gym teacher.

UGGs

Don’t @ us—UGGs are still problematic. These boots were peak early-2000s, but the clunky designs and questionable durability make them less desirable today. Not to mention, they’re often paired with pajama pants, which is an unforgivable combo.

Buy Instead: Switch to Blundstone boots for that cozy, rugged vibe. They’re just as comfy but way more versatile.

FiveFingers by Vibram

These "barefoot shoes" are what happens when function obliterates form. Unless you’re a trail-running minimalist or trying to channel your inner hobbit, there’s no excuse for wearing these out in public. They’re weird, uncomfortable, and downright creepy.

Buy Instead: If you’re into the barefoot movement, try something like the Altra Escalante. They’re sleek, comfortable, and won’t make strangers give you side-eye.

Payless Knockoffs

We love a good bargain, but cheap shoes that fall apart after two wears aren’t the answer. Not only are these knockoffs uncomfortable, but they’re also an environmental disaster waiting to happen. You’re better off investing in one solid pair of shoes than five disposable ones.

Buy Instead: Check out brands like Allbirds for affordable, eco-friendly options that won’t leave your feet (or the planet) crying.

Heelys

Unless you’re under 12 or work at a roller rink, Heelys are an absolute no. Rolling around in these contraptions is a guaranteed way to look ridiculous. And don’t think for a second you look “ironic.”

Buy Instead: If you want shoes that stand out, try something bold like Nike’s Dunk High or Puma’s RS-X line.

Your shoes say a lot about you. Are you trendy, practical, or stuck in a 2006 fever dream? Ditch the styles that suck (we’re looking at you, Crocs), and invest in brands that balance comfort and coolness. Your feet deserve better—and so do your outfits.